How involved should your significant other be with your diabetes? Should you face this challenging lifestyle as solo as possible? Or ask for help and want that person to be an ally against this war we fight? What do each of you recommend? Share your stories, share your wisdom
Reg Natarajan I tell her everything. It helps keep me honest.
Katie Austin Reg Natarajan I can see that being beneficial with BS numbers, taking medication, & food choices. Do you draw a line anywhere?
Reg Natarajan Katie Austin, I haven’t yet, but I also don’t have anything to hide beyond BSL and meds and food choices. If I was cheating regularly I might hide that, but I’m not. lol.
Daniel Gimple You should not expect them to change their life for you. If they do that’s awesome but never an expectation IMO. But at the same time there should be impotant communication and awareness going on.
Katie Austin Daniel Gimple I agree.. are there any expectations we should expect from someone? Do you think they should take an interest about the disease and learn about how it can effect us? Maybe not change, but understand on a deeper level?
Daniel Gimple Katie Austin i think they should play an active role in learning about it and also work to come up with drills and good practices in emergency situations.
Rebecca Linden My husband is so supportive. We cook low carb dinners and meals and he doesn’t complain but loves it cause it makes him healthier. He did so much research on type one when first started dating without me knowing. He knows what to expect from me when I’m high or low and knows to not take it personally. He always makes sure we have a sprite or something in the car or in the house at all times and will go out of his way to get more if he notices we’re low. You’re partner is a partner for a reason.
Rebecca Linden Katie Austin I hope you’re not struggling! But if you are, keep looking. Someone out there will love you and support you for who you are. I’ve have very unsupportive partners and it just hurts more in the end.
Katie Austin Rebecca Linden I’ve always been very independent regarding my diabetes. I don’t keep it secret, but don’t bring it up much unless necessary, like during lows. I guess I wonder if I should expect them to take interest or if I should be more vocal about it. I don’t want to seem like a victim or needy..
Mandie Miller My husband is 100% involved with my care!! I’m type 1 and have several issues due to it, so he’s very much involved. Ultimately it’s my decision on my plan of care but he’s always there and knows exactly what’s going on! He knows how to run and change my pump! He knows how to check my sugar and how to prepare my food! He knows how to administer glucose gel everything!!!
Kevin Shaffer I had to teach my gf at the time everything about T1D. She is now my wife. She dont get why i would always worry about what and when was dinner or snacks. She understand now
Mandie Miller Kevin Shaffer my husband was the same way! The first time I went unresponsive bc of a low blood sugar he of course called 911 but after that he said ok I need to be involved and I need to know what to do to help you!!!
Vanessa Martinez I confide in my boyfriend for everything. He knows what my blood sugars are every time I test them and wants to know. He wants to know how my appointments go and everything in between. He knows my setbacks too and helps me through those. I think its important to have your partner be a part of the process so you can lean on them for support. Yes they can’t truly know how it is but they can help you and support you in reaching your goals. After all isn’t that what a relationship is about?
Dawn Capponi I just found out in February that I’m diabetic But My Hubby fought with diabetes for 35 years we fought this nasty disease together until the day he passed away I would have never let him fight alone. And now my children are fighting it with me.
Katie Austin Dawn Capponi I hate to hear that you’ve lost him. I love to hear your children are so involved now
Allison Gavin Brinkley I pretty much take care of most of it myself. But my husband knows enough to support me.
Sometimes he can tell before I do that I’m low. (And he understands that I’ll argue with him each time, insisting I’m not). He’s likely saved my life more than once.
Katie Austin Allison Gavin Brinkley I know everyone is different with each aspect of diabetes, it’s interesting that he can tell you’re going low before you do… He must pay attention and know you very well!
Travis Lane Hayden I am a diabetic but if I was not and I was married to one I’m not trying to be an ass but I would support her and everything but I’m gonna eat whatever the hell I want
Tarlee Eastham I have told my partner that it is not his struggle and it doesn’t have to be, but he is heavily involved and loves every second of it (most of the time haha)
Mandie Miller My husband and even my co workers know are very supportive! I’ve had co workers check my sugar plenty of times bc I was acting off! I guess working 8 to 12 hours a day with the same folks they know what’s normal and what’s not! I’m very thankful for my support system!!
Bridget Martinho My bf and I just celebrated 9 years together last week. The first half I was very uncontrolled so he didn’t know much about the disease because I down played it a lot so that I didn’t have to take care of myself although it stressed him out because he knew I was hurting myself. I’m now very involved and very controlled and he learns and asks questions and takes care of me when I need it and ask for it and will tell me to check my sugars and gets my dexcom readings on his phone and will check to see how my day was. The past few weeks/months I’ve been trying to help him understand the finer details of what we as a community go through and have been opening him up to other people’s stories on here and on Instagram.
Vicki Neiswonger Greenawalt It should be a family thing. Yes I am the one with diabetes, but my family know what to look for if I act a bit off. My family also knows what to cook for me if we are invited for a meal. I do not ask that they do this. They do it because they loveand care about me, but our worlds do not revolve around my having diabetes. My husband goes to any education classes that I take, because he wants to learn all that he can to help me. He says we are in this together.
Leanne Wilkie My husband is my rock. The only thing that needs to happen is to educate those around you. Can’t support you if they don’t understand the condition.
Verna Nienhouse Holcomb It definitely depends on the 2 of you, but I’ve always involved my significant other. I sometimes need help treating a low, so I need my SO to recognize when I’m low and know what to do. I love support systems and don’t see any reason to turn down support…but I also understand that some people’s attempts to be helpful can sometimes be stifling or completely unhelpful. My husband is a lovely human being, but medical care is not at the top of his skill set, so I manage doctor appointments, interpreting and remembering what I’m told, looking at my data and adjusting my rates; but I’ll talk to him about it, and I trust him to make the right call when I’m too far gone to know my name or walk to the kitchen (or too lazy and just want to make him bring me a glass of juice!). That balance works for us.
Michael Strong My wife, Cackey Riggan, is great, for more than just this. When we started dating, she wanted to learn everything possible about my diabetes. If we are driving and my 670 goes into alarm, she can check it out and shoot me up or do whatever is required. If she couldn’t do this, I would be stopping every 15 minutes for all the alarms.
Stan Sansoucie I do wish my wife was more involved and supportive.. she knows things but if I talk about something it’s bluntness from her which comes out rude.
Judy Baker I’m very fortunate. My husband is a strong person who just naturally takes care of people, especially family.
He is a nurse and although he’s been a hospital administrator for the past 25 years, he is a nurse at heart, worked ER for years. So he knows what’s going on medically. He does get frustrated if I get a seriously low BS and I’ve had to make clear to him it’s not that I’m doing something wrong or irresponsible.. it’s just how this disease is. I guess it’s cuz he’s a fixer and he can’t fix this.
April Marie Mehrer I’m so lucky to have a husband who loves to cook. He finds it interesting to experiment and come up with healthier ways to eat meals. He also carb counts everything for me and gives me the number 15 min before I eat so I can bolus. He inserts my Dexcom into the back of my arms, and he tries to come to any important doctor appts. He’s overall just really supportive, and reminds me to be good while also not scolding me when I splurge. He makes this feel so much more doable.
Janine Marie Theres no question at all that I believe you need someone – partner, husband/wife, bf or family – on your side. This disease is too hard to be doing it solo but we’re all here for you x
Kelly Huckins For me from day one my Boyfriend wanted to learn everything I mean he went to support groups just to ask questions, I didn’t even know, but he said that he never wants me to feel like i have to do this alone especially when I’m low cause it’s to hard, but he also never has been in my way unless he can see I need it. So I say you need them it just gives us more confidence in knowing we got someone we have support its then our choice how much you want them involved. I mean I will never forget when he asked if he could give me my insulin shot cause I had surgery on my hands and couldnt it was everything to me. It’s been the best 3.5 yrs with him
Lynn Vic The moment we found out i am diabetic he’s been Very involved and supportive. I’m very blessed that my husband and our children are very involved and care about me and my health. Our meals revolves around me(selfish I know), we find time to exercise (my husband bought exercise equipments so we have a mini gym at home) and we try to live a healthier lifestyle. He’s always concern and check up on me at work. When I get too lazy he checks my blood sugar for me…little things.
Anthony Morris I believe that family should be involved. It’s not like most of us can afford to fill 2 separate grocery lists. And since following a diabetic friendly diet would be good for anyone there’s no legitimate reason to not follow it. I don’t have this kind of support and let me tell ya, it really makes it that much more difficult. It’s so much harder to tell yourself no sugar when there’s cookies and ice cream stashed in the house. Soda is the worst for me. It’s one of those things that if it’s not in the house I don’t think about it, but if there’s a case in the fridge, that’s all I’ll drink.
Patricia Burbank How involved would your husband be if you’d been diagnosed with cancer? Asthma?Depression? I think the answer lies in what your relationship is like, and there is no one right answer to that question. For me, I share a lot about my journey and yet he sabotages me often by buying himself cookies, ice-cream etc. So do I wish he was more supportive-yes!
Michele Young My SO is as involved as he can be since he’s two hours away. He always wants a snap shot of my BS and asks me what I’m eating and if he doesn’t believe me wants a snap shot of that too. With his help I went from 10.5 in December to 5.5 last week. I also take him along on my walks when he calls me.
Jackie Schmidbauer My fiancé is my biggest support system, he brings me juice when I’m low and water when I’m high. He eats low carb with me and is so understanding. He can check my blood sugar, and knows what to do in an emergency. Since being with him my control has been the best it’s been since I was a kid. Everyone is different but I am so thankful that he is as involved as he is. I had a previous partner who was the opposite. Literally made diabetes jokes to his friends, didn’t care to know or help with anything and it took me a lot to get over that and understand there would be someone out there who cared. Everyone is different though, find what works for you
Linda Goldbaum Pickus My husband means well but when he eats food I shouldn’t have, he asks me if I want some. So frustrating! YES I want it, but I can’t. Don’t ask!
Tricia Peterson Sorry in advance for a long reply! The answer to your question will certainly vary from person to person given personality, comfort level, etc. Personally,I attribute my good control [which has been the best it’s been in 23 years] to wearing a CGM [started in 2016] and having my boyfriend, now husband, in my life. I think it’s easy to live as a person with diabetes and feel shame or guilt for needing “help” or avoid the helping hand of others. But in doing so, we really neglect to approach this disease the best we can and we also don’t take care of our minds – which is such an under-acknowledged part of this disease.
When we first started dating, my husband asked if I could make him a diabetes quiz 😂 He is greatly involved in my care from getting a juice box from the fridge when I’m “low brain” to giving me a hug when I’m discouraged about a high and saying, “Diabetes is hard” – validating my feelings and thoughts. He has willingly shifted his own eating habits in ways to better accommodate my needs while understanding that it’s really better for him too [ex. spaghetti squash instead of spaghetti]. He likes to know about my endo appointments and likes to be there waiting if he’s able. He sees it as if we’re fighting this disease together. And that has been such a blessing to me.
I think the best recommendation I’d give is to just keep open communication regarding it. There are times when I am upset about a high BG. I tell him so that he’s aware and knows I might be a little agitated. There are other times when I’d just rather not show him my BG – I tell him that and he respects that. There are times when my BG is low and I’m about to eat the couch and he says, “Babe – remember that you don’t want a high BG.” I grumble cause all I want is everything in the house. However, I don’t see that as controlling, but as a genuine care for my wellbeing.
Feel free to reach out if you’d like to talk more
Katie Jensen My husband is my rock when it comes to my diabetes. He understands to give me space, but he also knows when to help out. I love that he knows how I feel about talking to strangers about it (I don’t), so he’ll take the lead when people ask. I have the Dexcom and there are times I’ll have a low while showering and not even know. I’ll get out of the shower and he’ll have snacks ready for me. He’s always trying to find new snacks for me to try because he knows I can get sick of eating the same things. He is so understanding and supportive. So he’s fully involved in my health, but he knows me and lets me take care of myself.
Angelique Arenas My boyfriend is involved in my T1 life. Got diagnosed about 3 years ago but was very overweight so the dr put me on metformin. I wasn’t taking care of anything. We were in a very serious car accident together, doctors discovering that i was type 1 and requires insulin. He shoots me when needed(with insulin hehe) and adjusts our eating habits to what i can have! High protein low carbs is the way to go and he already knows 😊😊 he still has his chips, cookies, and candy and i am just able to control myself most of the time.
Tanya Keogh Mine is not involved. Doesn’t ask questions or ever seems concerned. Heck I’m even 35 weeks pregnant and has not once asked me how I’m doing how I’m feeling. How’s the baby. What does the dr say?
Andy Barnes My wife is my best supporter. She asks about how I’m doing. When I get a high carb snack she doesn’t say anything. Her mom nagged her dad constantly about his snack. When he passed we found cookies and candy stashed in his recliner. 😛🤪. I told them I get it. We married 3 years ago and pray for 35 years of happy and healthy life together. I’m trusting God to make that happen but I have to do my part and take care of myself.
Alex Murphy my partner has always been fully supportive he doesn’t understand how it all works exactly but he knows what he needs to and supports me. if I am having a hypo he gets me the things I need etc my family don’t know much about it
Dennis Goldensohn I have been a T1D for the past 51 years. I have been married for going on 41 years. Through those 41 years, we have both worked together to better understand the true nature of diabetes and together we have learned about what the issues are what can be expected from having a chronic disease like diabetes.
I have and still am a volunteer for JDRF for close to 40 years and my wife supports this as well. We both follow the advances that are being made and I am as a result utilizing the Omnipod pump and the Libre CGM. From 51 years ago, this was never imaginable back then. Due to the technology, the stress levels of living with a T1D is greatly reduced only because the T1D is more in control with their diabetes.
Now that we are retired, we can now enjoy retirement due to teamwork and being able to stay healthy and ahead of the curve as it relates to diabetes complications. Also being involved with JDRF and DRI-Diabetes Research Institute, we have both been able to gain insights into how to manage my diabetes. Teamwork does make a difference and neither partner should go it alone!
If your want to contact me please feel free to do so! Hope this answers your questions!
Shannon Lawler Fessler My hubby does a good job being supportive and we now cook differently in our house. We have a vegetarian also so we cook meals that still involve a lot of pasta so portion control and will power are always needed in my house. I find as time went on my tastes have changed for the better and listen to your body. Mine always lets me know if I’ve over done it. 😬 I’m still learning myself…only 6 months in. Good luck on your journey!
Sonya Muriel Villalobos Wood My husband is supportive in that he doesn’t try to sabotage my diet. Doesn’t always consider it, especially at first, but doesn’t deliberately sabotage me. Now, this by no means indicates he changed his diet. He did not. Still eats alm his junk foods. And yes, if he wants them, I will buy them or make them for him.
He also supports the money I spend on a gym membership and my trainer. Not to mention my gym clothes and paraphernalia. He rarely complains of the time I spend at the gym either.
What I eat, if it took my meds(when I was on them), research, choices, implementation, that was and still is all on me. I don’t think I would have tolerated him attempting to have any say in that.
My successful Diabetes Treatment Story
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